Meet the women who haven't had sex for more than a decade: What it's like to be celibate and why it's all men's fault

Three women Susan, 55,  Shirley 58, Suzie  61 as boldly stepped out to share their experiences for not having sex for more than a decade, in one point Susan said she will died to have a man touch her again. read their individual experiences after the cut.

The women in red Susan, Now aged 55, last relationship broke up 17 years ago and, she has been single - and sexless - ever since. In fact, like a quarter of all women over 40, Susan has been without a lover for so long she has almost lost hope of ever experiencing intimacy with a man again.

'Days turn into weeks, weeks into months and months into years and, before you know it, you've gone a very long time without sex,' says Susan. 'It makes me feel so sad and lonely when I realise how long it's been since I made love with a man, so I try not to think about it. I always enjoyed sex and found it exhilarating, and I miss that physical closeness. You don't get it with any other human contact.'

According to recent statistics, 28 per cent of women over 40, like Susan, now lead celibate lives.

Those who are menopausal often say hot flushes and mood swings have reduced their sex drive, according to nutrition company Healthspan, which conducted the research. However, there are many more, including Susan, a dance teacher from South London, who crave a loving relationship but unfortunately find themselves single in the 'danger zone' - that is any time after their late 30s, when most people are either paired up or cynical and wary of commitment following a divorce.

'I don't talk to many people about the fact I've been celibate for so long because I'm embarrassed, it feels abnormal,' she says. 'I did, however, tell a friend the other day and she looked very surprised and said 'Oh really?' And I said: 'Yes! Where's the justice in that?'

'I remember, years ago, going home after spending a passionate night with a boyfriend and my flatmate saying: 'My God you look amazing, you're glowing! What have you been doing?'.

'When you're having sex you have a vitality about you, even your hair and skin look healthier. But, at this stage in my life, I do wonder if my desire to meet a man is less about the sex and more about wanting to share something with somebody else - I'd love to wake up in the arms of someone who cares about me.

'I have to accept that it may happen for me again but it might not, so I just have to get on with life.'

Most of the 'nice men' Susan has met over the past 17 years were already committed and, although she has been propositioned by a couple of them, she wants more than just sex and is too moral to contemplate an affair with a married man.

Susan's last relationship, with a man who had an ex-wife and children, ended when she was 38.

'My desire to feel a man's arms around me and be loved, even briefly, is so deep that I've even contemplated offering just to have sex with one.

'There must be plenty out there who would like a no-strings relationship, but I'd end up returning to my flat feeling lonely and rejected, so that's not the answer.'

 Shirley Yanez, 59, who has been celibate for 15 years.

 Shirley as had sex for 15 years

Her turning point came shortly after her third marriage ended, when she fell desperately ill, due to a 8lb fibroid in her uterus. The condition, she knows, is a direct legacy of a promiscuous youth.

'Staring death in the face in that way and then getting a second chance I made a commitment to myself to only ever do things that are good for me,' recalls Shirley.

'I gave up smoking and alcohol and vowed I'd never have sex - the source of so many of the problems in my life - with anyone other than a man happy to commit, love and support me. As men like that are hard to find, it was difficult contemplating the rest of my life without a boyfriend.

'So, while I'm open to the idea of meeting a man - I love men, I enjoy their company and love the warmth of feeling close to them - I don't look for one any more and haven't met any I'd risk my happiness on.

'I've realised how important I am, how important my life is, and, rather than risk being hurt, I concentrate on me and that's helped me become very successful in my professional life.'

'I teach girls that sex is a very special thing that binds you to another human being,' says Shirley. 'Sex makes you feel good in the moment because you're producing positive chemicals and pheromones, but if he doesn't text or call you the next day you don't feel very good at all. You feel used, as I often have. So sex comes with very big highs and very big lows and you have got to be able to navigate them.'

Shirley, from Leicester, married her first husband aged 16 believing she had found the perfect escape from an unhappy home-life, alone with her father following her parents' divorce. But that marriage, to a man who was ten years her senior, lasted just 18 months.

'Given my age and based on past experiences, it's doubtful I'll meet someone like that now.

'So as I value myself far too much to make do with casual sex, I have to accept I may never be intimate with a man again.'

Suzie Webster, 61 - who was married for eight years until 1990 - has been celibate since breaking up with her partner of five years in 2004, aged 50.

The relationship was an 'unhappy' one, but Suzie never imagined it might be her last. Yet she has subsequently failed to meet anyone to share her life with.

'I loved sex,' says Suzie. 'I'd be very happy to have a physical relationship now, but only when I really know a man. I'm not interested in casual sex, which so many men seem to want.'

She adds: 'My passions are still going strong, so I do look at men and think 'Cor!' but I've not met the right one to settle down with.'

Instead, Suzie, from Cambridge, has a happily platonic relationship with a younger man. She says she gets to experience the joy of having comforting man-hugs and even walking hand-in-hand with him on the many holidays they have had in places such as Crete, Italy and France.

They share rooms but, after a chaste kiss, say goodnight and climb into separate twin beds.

Nine years ago Suzie set up a website, Platonic Partners, where similar-minded people can connect, which now has 9,000 members, 90 per cent of them within the UK.

She wanted to create a place where people could meet others for whom sex was not an essential ingredient in a relationship.

Meanwhile, Suzie fills her evenings with art classes, dance classes and socialising with friends.

'We live in a very competitive society where if you're not having multiple orgasms and don't look like Barbie and Ken you feel you're doing something wrong,' she says.

'I try to ignore these pressures and instead take myself to places through physical exercise, where the afterglow is comparable with the afterglow from sex.'

Susan and Shirley, like millions of other middle-aged celibate women in Britain, will no doubt be delighted to learn that Suzie has discovered an alternative to the love of a good man.